
I’ve been feeling restless lately. Yearning for a little more. Wondering where I want my life to go next.
The last three years were full of change, not of my own choice at first. A divorce left me as a single mom of a one-year-old daughter and three-year-old son. The split was sudden and shocking….at least for me. Talking to others who have divorced has convinced me that’s often the case — one partner is making an exit strategy, starting to build the supports for a new life, while the other has little clue that the life they built together is already quietly being dismantled. “We” is about to hit its expiration date, and like a nectarine gone mushy and bad, the split is foul, messy, and unpleasant.
I was left reeling, sad and confused. There were plenty of tasks that soaked up days and then months: sobbing, negotiating, setting up a visitation schedule, hexing my ex, gathering mountains of paperwork, leaning on friends and family, more negotiating, going to court, and selling my house. Eventually, settling more happily into a new town, a new condo, and a new life.
For most of that time, getting through was the goal—just managing the change, helping my children adapt as easily and happily as possible, and finding some solid ground beneath our feet. Now, though, life has settled down. The kids and I are feeling at home in our new place, and my son (now a kindergartener) loves his new school. We’ve adapted to the new rhythm of our lives. We’re content. So now what?
I’ve already got 2,247 weeks behind me. When I did the math, I had to do it a second time. 2,247….How is that possible? So using the 4100 weeks guidelines that leaves me with….1,853. It hardly seems enough to learn what I want to learn, see what I want to see, and become the person I want to become.
At first, the divorce felt like too much—too much pain and stress, too much uncertainty, too much to manage. Now though, it feels freeing. I find myself feeling more confident, more eager to define my life on my terms—more myself than I’ve been in a long time. I’ve been presented with a new opportunity: a chance to chart a new course. But to where? What do I want my life to look like in a year? 5 years? What makes me happy? What am I passionate about? Other than ice cream and my kids. Because while both are sweet and delightful, I’m hankering for something more. More adventure. More connection. More joy.
I want to grow as a parent and a person. I want to make sure that the remaining 1,853 weeks don’t slip away, practically unnoticed in a sea of laundry to be washed, school lunches to be packed, kids to be shepherded to dance or soccer, and appointments to be on time for. All that needs to be done, certainly, but my hope is to find out what brings pleasure and meaning to my life and what makes me the best parent possible to my kids—and to pursue those things consciously. In short, I want to squeeze the most out of my remaining 1,853 weeks. This site is already giving me the nudge I needed to commit a little more fully to that journey. Here you’ll see my steps and missteps along the way.